Chris Anne and Jason are a featured couple in How Love Lasts – The Play. See their story live in Los Angeles this fall!
Jason and Chris Anne met in 2000 while in their early 20’s. Chris Anne says she knew right away that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Jason: “Like, ‘you’re the one. You. Are. It. And I love you,’ and my claws went in, and that was it.”
Though Jason knew she was an “amazing woman” and a “beautiful soul” from the beginning, it took him nearly seven years before he thought, “Wow, ya know, we are so much stronger together, and I’m foolin’ myself because I’m afraid.”
Jason wears a pendant which symbolizes this combined strength. Chris Anne describes it, saying, “Have you heard of the Darlington Pair? It’s a term used in electronics … you can put two transistors into a Darlington Pair and the energy output is much greater than the two would be on their own.”
They were married in 2007. Jason cites money, communication, and insecurity as the couple’s biggest issues at that time. But they both say it was pretty easy going then. They were on the same spiritual mission from the beginning: to master love, and to spread that mastery to others.
Now, raising two small children, their spiritual mission has a new, more challenging focus. Chris Anne says, “it didn’t get hard ’til we had kids, and we have no time with each other, and we have no time to connect.” Jason agrees, saying, “we went from seven years of being able to do whatever we want, and now we’re lucky to have a date night.”
Despite the difficulties, Jason says, “as much as it’s challenging, it’s strengthening us so much more.” He elaborates on the role of parenting in his spiritual journey:
I honestly don’t think that there’s anything a human can do except maybe sit in intense meditation for a very very long time that can quicken the awareness as having kids is … I had these amazing meditative experiences, and then all of a sudden faced with the mirror of a relationship, all this shit’s coming out that I thought I worked on. And then all of a sudden faced with the mirror of two kids, all of this other stuff is coming out and it’s like ‘wow yeah.’
Chris Anne also experiences this mirroring effect; she describes being called to grow in big ways in her roles as wife and mother:
When he acts in a way I don’t feel he should … like ‘he should get up 20 minutes early and spend time with his children, because he’s gonna be away all day,’ and, ‘How could he not want to do that?’ and, ‘How could he be so selfish?’ … and realizing that his capacity for togetherness is only so much, and that, like, this is who he is, and if he had a capacity or desire or want to get up 20 or 30 minutes early to be there, he would be, and it’s just not there. So what do i do with that? So that’s the thing: it’s like I kinda find myself going like, ‘Okay this is who he is, this is who I married, and I have to love all of him” … I feel like that’s such a lesson about life, and even about myself. And how am I not meeting his expectations and he’s still loving me anyway? And that’s the big thing, that’s like the big thing for me, is like, ‘How can i not love him back?’ Ya know, because I’m not perfect, and he loves me in all my imperfection.
Jason and Chris Anne both say in their own ways that they’re in it for the long haul, that divorce is not an option. For them, sticking it out is part of their spiritual mission. Here’s Chris Anne:
To me part of the reward is like the mystery, like the mystery of what’s to come, like that the depth of love that’s attained over time is unattainable in a short-term relationship. That is something that my mom has talked about a lot. They’ve been together like 40 years now – my parents – and that she couldn’t imagine that she would ever feel the things that she feels now twenty years ago or thirty years ago. That as time goes, things just go deeper and deeper, and there’s no way of experiencing that without sticking it out.
Do you and your partner have children? What challenges has parenting presented?
Share your thoughts with us in a comment below.
Brooke is a founding author of How Love Lasts.