Carter and Janet’s Texas home is so full of laughter, it’s almost surprising it’s just the two of them living there. Married 27 years, their children grown and away from home, Carter and Janet have recently begun falling in love all over again.
When you see them together, it’s easy to see why they’re together; the deep, jubilant love between them is clear.
Their love is the kind of all-consuming love that started one night at a nightclub in 1987, and resulted in a wedding only 10 months later.
Their love – coupled with mutual respect and admiration – is also the kind that kept them together through such common challenges as raising children, cultivating careers, and health issues.
Carter has been my caretaker, my champion … If I even look towards something that I want to get up and go get, he sees that I’m looking at it, he gets up quietly, brings it to me … Carter is very sure. He’s so peaceful to be around. he always has this countenance of peace and loving-ness no matter where he is. People gravitate to him wherever we go – babies, children, just grown-ups – ‘who is this guy?’
Carter, on the other hand, admires, respects, and loves Janet for her independence, intellect, and social partnership. Here’s Carter:
If I had a wife that hung on my words or what I was doing and didn’t have her own motivation, I wouldn’t have lasted at all because I’m a driven person … We’re real deep people. I could share with her the books I was reading and discuss with her. On my side I really want to get deep, and she’s more analytical, political, and social minded.
“Now,” Janet says, “we’re grandparents,” and Carter adds with a laugh, “we got it down now, marriage is easy!”
Getting more serious, Carter explains:
The key in a marriage is patience. I mean I think people really lose it when they give up at 5 years or give up at 4 or 3 … When we first met we were like we are now: we were inseparable, we spoke the same language, we were protective of each other, and really enjoyed each other’s company … We got to like 7 to 20 [years of marriage] there was so much work involved and we lost that for that period. We actually were very compatible as a couple, but, um, we were just really good parents, just cool, good parents. And as the kids started going on, we realized that we had forgotten something, and we got it all back … Life’s long. I feel the same age now as when I met her.
What stage of marital life are you and your partner in? How does the dynamic, the love, the passion ebb and flow for you? What is the role of patience in your relationship?
Tell us about it in a comment below!
Daniel is a founding author of How Love Lasts.